TOUGH

i know,

sometimes it's okay to be weak,

it's okay to cry if you really fed up or maybe feel tired with something

but luckily this time, i did not cry.

i know,

i cannot just simply forgive everything without an apologize

but what if,

when people say sorry to me..?? should i still angry?

but, this will never happen.

i guess, i just can't do anything on it anymore.

im the 1st person who admit the wrong and apologize

sorry, i can't forget what u had said and what you had did

sorry, i admit i can't be a perfect person

so, once i choose to end this war, meant i choose to end everything.

maybe, i should be thankful, at least i know i had put alots of effort that i never thought i will

it is so hard to forgot the pain and how hurt it is

but, luckily at the moment,

i realize how much my family love me and the friends that stand besides me to give me support

u given me a chance to learn, to fall down and to grow up again, with more stronger.

i knew the problem since a very long time

i force myself to keep going although it is hard to pass through

being the 1st person to make decision is cruel, as i dun wish it to happen

no doubt, keep silent is really not a good way to settle the problem

especially when it comes with love.

i endup make a choice.

the pain that i am experiencing right now is actually helping me to grow up

from a little girl, to be a woman.

a way that i have to go through although i know how hard it is.

but, it really make me feel valuable after i go through all the things and i re-born again

when i started to blog this post

i started to asking myself

am i going to make another choice..? will i still put any hope..?

am i able to put it down? or can i just forgive everything?

blablabla...lots of question i have to answer myself

i dun ever know how to answer.

maybe, only time can helps.

i am giving up,

i choose a new way to life

what i want right now is just a simple and healthy life.

i know my body got lots of problem now

and also, it have to take time to recover too.

2moro is the judgement day.

promise, no matter this is good or bad,

i will go through.

as, i dun wish my parents to worry about me anymore

as, i still have alots of things and dreams that i haven reach

what if i don't have the chance to make it true?

choi~!! touch wood..

life my life

love my life

and

a new estella will born soon.

girl, please be tough.

say thank to those people who push me down

because you are giving me a chance to get up.