bye 2010

nice right? i love this xmas tree very much.

the most nicer i had seem this year.

hmm, time flies.

today is the last day of 2010.

this year, 2010, definitely the fucking damn year for me,

alots of bullshit happened, alots of sadness, cried, heartbroken, surgery, blablabla

all came together.

i nearly cannot breathe.

but, thanks god.

i finally can get over all of this.

i know, through all those things, i can get a better life, and also

i can grow up faster by learning so much of experience and lesson.

iam no longer teenager, iam adult,

should take the responsibility for what i did.

well, shop to complaint.

i feel better recently, although i know i need to take time on something,

but, as i said, i always believe in myself, trust on my ability,

i can do it.

keep emo and unhappy ain't helping me anything

idk what i should do, but at least i know, how i can be better.

oh ya, last sem of degree on march.

after graduate on july, *hopefully i can pass all the sub and get my degree*

i will no longer stay at bw/pg.

idk whether i can achieve my "Dream" since last 4 years or not,

seem everyone did not support me to do so,

so confuse. but anyway, i will leave pg.

2011, i hope that this will be a better year for me.

yet, i wont expect too much on this.

as i know that, things will always happen without our expectation.

so, i do not wish to plan anything,

plan is always changes as thing changes.

YOU will never BE happier than you expect.

TO change your happiness, CHANGE your expectation.

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone,

and i'm here to welcome 2011.

belated wishes, Merry Christmas everyone. :D

今晚的聖誕, 可說是嚮往太多,期望永遠都是帶來失望的

一首首本來應該開心的歌, 我都聽得好寂寞.

一點應該屬於聖誕節的快樂, 和溫馨都沒有.

只覺得自己都好衝忙的在過平安夜.

嗯, 謝謝.

除了謝謝, 也還是謝謝

我沒想過, 一句我無心說出來的聖誕願望, 會在這一個晚上實現

煙花很漂亮.

這是我第一次那麼清楚的看到煙花,

當下, 我的心情, 有點興奮,有點嚇到, 更有點好笑.

好笑的是一個放完煙花後, 好狼狽的你.

謝謝你, 讓我在聖誕節之後的這個晚上, 看到了煙花.

家人

有些裂痕, 發生了,就是沒有辦法補救的.

曾經, 無數的機會,無數的原諒,無數的期待和盼望

為的,或許就只是那一句: 我真的知錯了,我會改過.

但,今天,連我都開始覺得要放棄你的時候,

試問, 你....自責過嗎?

我生氣,不是因為你害了我沒有辦法準時赴約

更不是因為你害了我們都沒辦法出門

我最生氣的,是你利用了我對你的信任.

是你親手毀了我對你的信任, 和期待.

我,曾經以為可以說服你, 罵醒你

我,曾經以為那一些信息並不是你酒醉了以後亂寫的承諾

所以,我選擇給你最後那麼一次機會, 選擇讓你離開這裡,過你所要求的生活.

但,最後, 那些錢花去哪裡, 而你又做了些什麼

問你自己吧, 我們都沒權利再干涉你.

我相信, 在爸爸作出這樣的一個決定的時候

他的心,是有那麼的痛

也相信,在媽媽毫不阻止之下

她的心,是有那麼的淡

我們,沒有任何一個人可以了解到父母親的感受

也更無法體會當下他們做出這個決定的時候的真正感想

我們,再怎麼失望跟難過,都不會比他們來得更傷.

記得很小以前, 妹妹還沒出世的時候

爸爸也曾經狠心過, 但那時候, 被年小的我和姐姐阻止了

我們沒有辦法想像, 在那間家裡, 應該怎樣生存

記得, 我和姐姐隔著車窗, 一直哭, 一直哭

希望爸爸可以停下車.

當然, 你也答應過我們的.

小時候, 我們的感情, 真的很深,很好

雖然, 現在要我記憶起以前的回憶, 都很少甜蜜的

漸漸懂事以來, 就一直不斷的看到你的改變

也慢慢的疏遠了那關係.

這一次, 我們誰都沒有投反對票

相信,這可能也是所謂的, 信心一天一天的被摧毀了吧.

聽媽媽說, 爸爸從報社走出來的那殺那, 是哭的.

可想而知, 爸爸有多麼的心疼?

只是在我們面前, 他還是kin住了.

我相信, 爸爸是怎樣都不願意讓我們知道他有多麼難過的.

而我, 身為女兒的, 看到爸爸媽媽如此的堅強

我,不懂是他們裝出來的堅強

還是,他們真的看開了

我只是心疼, 為什麼爸爸媽媽要那麼的難過,就為了這樣的人.

我只是生氣, 為什麼口口聲聲說要改, 卻一次又一次弄出更糟糕的事?

我不懂, 以後的日子裡

你到底會選擇怎樣的生活方式

我只知道, 不管發生什麼事情都好, 家人永遠才是最值得你珍惜的

而你, 卻選擇這樣欺騙你家人, 利用他們對你的信任

我真的無話可說.

我們, 試過給你扶持, 試過給你機會, 試過諒解你

但, 我們不懂, 什麼時候, 你才可以真正的醒過來?

記得, 好久好久, 我們都沒有在一家人一起坐下來吃頓飯

人家說, 身在這樣的家庭裡, 應該感到很幸福, 很幸運, 也應該學習到感恩

但, 所謂家家有本難唸的經

又有多少個人真的了解我們家的情況

又有多少個人可以真的了解我們的家人

我很幸福, 因為我有著愛我的爸爸媽媽,

他們, 很疼我們, 會把所有我們想要的都滿足於我們

他們, 很愛我們, 就算我們那麼任性, 他們都很少發脾氣罵人

他們, 很容忍我們, 他們的孩子脾氣都很暴躁, 都很不好. 有時, 還有給他們臉色看

他們的孩子, 不懂得如何才是尊重他們

只會顧慮自己的感受, 我行我素,

但偏偏, 他們都很懂得包容和原諒孩子們的脾氣

他們, 做的每一件事, 其實還不是為了我們?

記得生病那段日子, 爸爸媽媽的叮嚀和提醒

記得開刀那段日子, 爸爸媽媽的照顧跟用心

到最近, 因為阿姨一句無心的話, 媽媽還怕傷害到我, 顧及我的感受. 這一些我都知道

真的, 可以做到爸爸媽媽的女兒, 我真的比很多人都來得幸運

我是很幸福的.

有些話, 有些對不起, 我從來都不會在爸爸媽媽面前說, 那是因為我們家, 本來都不走溫馨派

但, 並不代表我都不知道.

我愛爸爸媽媽, 就是永遠都那麼愛他們

我多想, 我可以用勇氣, 伸手給你們一個大大的擁抱.

可以的話, 我想, 我可以每一輩子, 都做你們的女兒.

這樣的父母親, 這樣的一個家,

你都不懂得珍惜, 你都不滿足.

我不懂, 今天以後, 我該用什麼身份看待你

我只希望, 不管以後怎樣, 請你照顧好你自己.

要不要回頭, 我們都沒權利再干涉你

你若真的醒了, 請珍惜你身邊還在關心你, 在乎你的人吧.

加油

Love is like a puzzle.
When you're in love,
all the pieces fit but
when your heart gets broken,
it takes a while to get everything back together.

有一些難過, 我不懂表達, 所以一直只會說沒有.

有一些難過, 我一直忽視它,是因為我懂得,說出來,換來的,只是一堆我根本承受不了的傷痛.

好久以前,我甚至勇敢的以為,那一點都不會再影響我, 也甚至驕傲的歡呼,我一點都不在乎.

什麼時候,回憶那麼莫名其妙的回來了,我沒有任何防備,我只能默默接受我不保護自己的後果.

18號晚上,我和一位好朋友,感同身受的emo了整個晚上

他羨慕我可以毫無保留的哭出來, 罵出來

他說,至少哭完以後,你一定比較舒服.

罵完以後,至少對方可以知道你的難過.

但,我反而欣賞他的安靜

至少這一些痛和難過,他選擇保持沉默的讓對方不知所措.

不會有爭吵,不會有摩擦.

笑一笑以後,依然可以坦然面對.

我們2個人,面對同樣的傷害,同樣的死穴

但選擇了用一個截然不同的方式抒發出來.

他很理性,我很感性.

我們很想醉,但後來反而聊著電話到天亮.

我們,心疼對方的心疼.

我們,互相安慰,互相吐槽,互相看不起對方

但,最後我們達成了一個共識.

既然我們都那麼明白對方的辛苦,我們更應該惺惺相惜.

我很衝動的想立刻逃跑,反而我被他阻止了.

好吧,我就等你.

你,總是一個很有計劃的人.

也對,如果就這樣走了, 那只是一時的逃避,根本就不能真正的解決問題.

等你把家裡的事情都安頓好,等你安排好你的一切

等我把這裡的degree讀完,等我畢業了,

我們就走.

反正,也多那麼半年

半年以後,這一切都會停止在pg.

我們,一樣都不帶走.

加油吧,朋友

為了我們不被看不起的自尊,為了那煩惱了很久的痛苦,

我們咬緊牙根忍下去!

在我們還往這道路的途中邁進的這一段過渡期裡.

我們就要扮演導航員

絕對不讓好朋友就這樣失去方向

絕對要引導對方走出那死穴.

還有, 絕對的讓我們2個人的日曆裡面

刪除12月18號.

我們,沒有這一天.

T-junction

-thankiew Dar for comfort me.

after talked for the half hour,

i feel better now.

iam seem like standing at the T-junction point,

neither choosing to the right nor left,

i know its kinda hard to decide,

but, nothing else i can do.

we know, its does not meant that people must appreciate it

when we show our cares or our concern sometimes

or maybe, you did it, you are hoping someone can get it

but, he does not.

its does not meant his fault, maybe you both just not match.

you want something, you hoping he to give you

yet, he want something else, he hope you to follow his way, or mayb respect his decision,

why? i could not be more independent? as people wish me to be.

i did not blame anyone, iam just blaming myself.

bcz im the one who cannot make decision right now.

thats y i emo, thats y i insomnia, thats y i choose not to face it.

im scare!

perhaps, after half years, the problems will all gone.

perhaps, after half years, i can get my way to walk.

just gimme some time to heal it.

Dar said: you must know what you really want, do not regret after u decided.

thankiew so much, at least i know, iam not alone.

Dar will always beside me, and listen to me.

perhaps, Dar cnt help me anything, yet meant something to my life when i get Dar's support.

hugz

:(

不開心的時候,我特別愛寫東西.

今天,沒有太多的傷感,只覺得一切來得太快

太快讓我擁有了,太快的我又失去了.

什麼時候,我變得那麼EQ低?

我說過,脆弱永遠只可以讓我一個人看到.

回家的路上,我在車裡哭了.

我難過,卻不敢讓他看到.

3-4個小時的路程,他駕得好累,而我,裝得好累.

我很開心,因為他回來了.

我不開心,因為我看到一個他,匆匆忙忙的來,匆匆忙忙的走

似乎一刻都不想多留.

我知道,我總是被好多好多負面的想法影響了我對他的看法,

但,有些事情,我仍然相信我的直覺.

就像這一次一樣,我猜的沒有錯.我想的,和他做的,是一樣的.

有些難過,我連說出口都不敢.

差一點,我們又吵架了.

為什麼?他不可能不懂.

可是,我的感受,其實一直以來都可以被忽略的.

說的好聽,是想做些事情讓我開心.

但,真正做到了嗎?辦到了嗎?成功了嗎?

我開心了嗎?

你卻從不曾用心聆聽過.

回去吧,回到原來就屬於你的地方.

這裡的生活,這樣的一個我,一點都不適合你.

你也不曾想過,改變.

是我想的太過於簡單,以為努力過可以換來些什麼

最後,我卻連站著的地位都沒有,更別說是住下來.

the moment

Iam still staying up late at this moment, without any reason.

Iam super tired, but i don't wish to sleep.

guess why? Iam just very emo right now.

back from club, i did not drink lots 2night yet i feel so headache rite now.

somebody text me n asked where iam when iam still in club,

i just talking a lie to said that iam home.

no doubt, iam a bad girl. i made people disappointed on me.

seriously, i wish to get drunk, at least i don't need to think bout it anymore.

i should not take an action like this, i should not made this choice.

i've made myself in trouble again.

where i'll be in xmas? where n who i should be 2gth on xmas?

you'd made the choice for me.

feel so surprise when i heard bout it, yet feel so down too.

-am dont know how to express the feeling.

i just wish to get rid of it.

can i?

Happy Birthday :D

Happy Birthday

Deric Chong

a.k.a

'Zhong' ZhiHong.

had celebrate his bday on last thus,

after exam.

and he keep mentioning that,

no anyone likes to celebrate bday after 21 years old.

but, you think we will care bout it?

we keep reminding you,

uncle, you are getting older ad.

haha..*evil* enough.

omg omg,

iam so miss you guys,

leechin, miss his sound, everytime he speak rude words, lol

wawa, miss him, everytime he laugh on me yet still helping me always.

deric, miss him, everytime he will be the volunteer driver and fetch us around, eat non-stop, talk non-stop and scold non-stop.

angeline, miss her, everytime she will knock my head and said im crazy, but after this she will said, luckily im surgery on leg not head. i know she is not tough enough, yet she will always pretend she is, bcz she wanted she bcm tough!

jiahern, miss her, everytime she show her kolian face when we all bully her, and of cox, she is the only one who dare to sleep in ahlau's class.

fion, miss her, everytime she shown her unwillingness face we call her: wuhaa pian pian. and always give us surprise for wearing different style cloths everyday. she looks nice everyday.

i love you guys, i do really meant so.

you guys bring the happiness for me, leads me to smile and laugh, hold me when i fall down, support me when iam helpless.

and of cox, i promise, i will always be there for you guys.

it is what we meant friendship.

Holiday

Holiday Start now!! wuhaa...finally i finished all da paper.

although, the decision making paper is damn fucking hard, and i don think i can pass also, well. its ad happened, and no way to solve.

prepare to re-sit bah, it is what in my mind rite now.

i know i cant get to pass if i loss the 33 marks in 1st question.

well well well, it is ad pass. so, accept it as well.

after the 3 weeks non-stop working, assignment and exam,

im finally down by sick. wtf....i hate this feeling much,

i tend to working today, yet i cant make it bcz of sickness.

fever, sore throat and super damn headache.

headache for few days ad, i don't know why panadol did not works at all.

aiks, i want to work, i want to earn money,

who know i need money badly recently.

how i wish i can get the job, salary rm2400 per month,

but as what fren said: ur mum will never allow you to work. stop think bout it!

yerr.........the job for me, is really acceptable, as long as i can earn tat much money in short period, am i right?

i know what iam doing, i know i wont touch it, i meant when working time,

so, why i cant work? why? just bcz of the image problem?

does the image important than money?

do not think so.

can anyone gimme a reason, why i cnt work??? piak piak*

again, stop thinking bout it. i know i have no choice.

well, i started to miss you all,

you guys make me smile everyday,

you guys bring me happiness and sweetness everyday,

i rather to study hard, work hard and do assignment hard with you guys everyday than stay at home do nothing in 3 months.

the time i spent with you guys, it bring the true me to life.

as least, i know, i can never act in font you all,

baby, just want you guys to know,

i love you guys so much~!!

If it ain't you baby

how much i wish i would not care you so much,

at least i wont feel so down rite now.

guess why? remember that you asked me few days ago,

a question which i don't wish to answer anymore.

i hate the fake hope, yes, i do really damn hate it!

once i said i will hold it tight meant that i'll never let you go,

yet, once i decided to go away, i'll never give anyone a second chance to hurt me.

this is the way how i choose to protect myself from being hurt again.

hold it tight? a question that i could never find out the answer.

why? i'm so scare about the promises. it's just disappointed me once and once again.

no matter the answer is yes or not, i won't be happy.

i'm scare to hold it, yet i dun wish to lost it.

perhaps, i am just need a big courage to get over it.

still remember the response that you gave to me when i said i'm emo again bcz of this matter,

seriously, it had make me feel so down and disappointed.

again, i can feel the irresponsible on you. i know you need the freedom,

i know, you never like someone to control on you.

that's why, i never try to break this limit, as i know i'm not able to do this.

i was so failed. i choose to smile with you, iam fake enough.

i choose to hide my sadness, i cannot heal it well.

you will never know how cruel it is when i know i cnt fix it.

how much i wish i can fix it well, how much i wish i can make you n me smile,

how much i wish i can feel your happiness and sadness,

i felt so sad when i saw you down.

my mind keep blank when you said you are the one who did so wrong.

you said sorry, but i don't want any apologize.

you are not sorry at all.

you said you care, but idk what you actually care for?

idk what response i should give when i heard you said you are actually care it so much. i just feel so funny, really.

your way to show your care, i cnt really feel it.

so, i choose the most easy way, i keep ignoring everything.

as long as you are happy with what you did, then keep on.

B asked me, are you coming to penang to work?

idk. i wish to leave penang, i do really dun like to stay at peneng anymore.

B will going to kl next month, i will definitely bored die that time.

again, i have to think bout it. what way i choose to stay? idk.

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you.

无题

脑海里,反复回想昨晚发生的一切

我不停的想,不停的问

这一次,又是我太一时冲动了.

我不允许自己的脆弱被任何人看到,当然在某些人的呵护下,我往往会更脆弱.

每一件事,其实都在提醒自己,伤口不会愈合,就算你多么努力

我以为,把胶布撕下来的那一刻

我有勇气去面对它的丑陋

结果一看,我却哭了

头被轻轻的摸着,耳朵被一堆安慰的话环绕着

我难过吗?谁懂,伤口的痛一直以来我都默默忍受着

就算是要哭,我也强逼自己转过身,不让任何人看到.

这一次,我再次面对这个伤口,我以为我够勇敢了

结果,我还是不行.

我哭到不行.

我不爱听对不起,

每一次的对不起,都代表着我必须原谅

我不爱听那一些自以为为了我好却拼命的告诉我怎样做才是对的

我不爱做那一种连自己都骗不了自己却还很骄傲的以为我很成功的骗了别人的笑容

那,什么才是我想要的?

我不知道.

我只知道,此时此刻每一件事情都不可能让我开心

没有为什么,我只是恨我自己每一次都把最不勇敢的我呈现出来

很累的驾着车回到家,很累的睡着了

昨晚,一整晚都没睡到

凌晨5点钟,我驾着车,走在那条高路上

路上只有一辆车,安静到引擎声那么清晰的就被听到

回想电话里头的对话,回想起虽然不是第一次听,但每一次听到都不能够开心起来的话

回想起那2次输了的自尊,回想起那2次努力说服自己没关系的烂借口

我,渴求些什么?

被伤害过的,留下来的伤口,就算多久以后,它一直都存在着

提醒着自己,它不可能被遗忘.

assignment

ok.

收拾心情,

好好的做Assignment

剩不到48个小时

我还要呕出2500个字.

现在

要跟IKEA谈恋爱了.

林慧萍

不要给别人看不起,

就给我争气一点.

aZa,fighting~!!!

加油.

脆弱

长时间以来,我们都被灌输太多所谓的道理

从小,我们都必须知道,什么是对的才可以做,错的不可以做

做错的人,一定要懂得道歉

做错事情,一定要改过

人家才会给你机会.

但,有些错误,是你犯下了,永远都不会有机会给你再袮补的.

有些伤害,并不会随着时间就被淡忘的

是我太傻了,还是我强迫自己去傻?

我逼自己去放下仇恨,当我觉得我可以放下了的时候

却偏偏我被一首又一首歌给打败.

我在意,我在乎,我耿耿于怀

为什么?为什么不是我?那为什么又是我?

我追求的,是一份信任

我向往的,是一份依赖

我渴望的,是一份关心

我希望的,是一切都可以很完美的如我所谓

但,我不能.

因为我不是那个该被关入去重要价值的人

我不该存在在那个地位

所以,一首首的情歌,都不属于我

所以,每一位女主角都不可能是我

也所以,我会那么难过.

其实,脑海里面围绕着同一个问题

但,我不想写出来

难过是可以掩饰的,我却偏偏选择把它展示出来

我哭,是压力,也更是因为我难过.

心里最真实的答案,我是真的很受伤

我所在意的地方,在意的人,在意的事

为什么偏偏永远都不能得到重视?!!

如果是难过可以喝酒,心情不好可以动C.I

那多好. 我可以什么都不管的喝个痛快,动得开心.

对于你,

想起了我的嘴角会上扬

是因为那是幸福的症状

还是恶梦的开始?

我控制不好自己的情绪

所以才有会那封信息的存在

冷静下来以后,我发现那没什么大不了

我不被我自己打败,我就已经很成功了

至少这一刻,我告诉自己

只要我相信,我就可以办得到

哪怕,再多么孤单一个人,都要告诉自己

这一段过渡期,我一定可以熬过的

像某人说过那样

你可以心软,你可以原谅,但你绝对不可以脆弱

因为你的脆弱只会给别人更多的机会去伤害你.

私心-眼

为什么会在这一刻打部落?

明明就还有很多的asignment没有做,明明就知道还剩不多时间给自己

为什么就是那么没有心的想要去动它呢?

我真的不懂.

一整天,心情都不怎么好

为了assignment,我真的很压力,但压力并没有造成任何的推动力

我还是很懒惰..我想,不到做到爆肝的那一天,我都不懂得害怕..

该死的Assignment,你害人不浅.

再加上,前个sem的那一个moral,差一点都被你弄到我不能毕业..我快疯掉了.

前几天,都在做工.

这一次的parttime job虽然说是很辛苦很累,每天还要一早爬起来赶去pg

但是,也因为这样,我看懂了好多以后出来社会工作会面对的问题

人,都是有私心的

没有人会为了别人,完全忽略了自己的利益

当我们听到那一句,做工不是为了钱的..打从心里都觉得讽刺

不为钱,难道真的为了跟你有情吗?

所谓的私心,也只不过是人性的丑陋

你把人性想得太完美,是你自己笨而已

要记得,谎言永远是最美的,只有实话才会那么难听

体验了这一切之后,我明白,做工真的没有所谓的公平

你付出的,未必就会有这样的回报

就算老板给你少工钱,你能怨什么

怨就怨,你不是老板.

记得那一句名言

当你看别人不顺眼的时候,就是你自己的修养不够高

连续听了这番话6-7次

我都把它记下来了

看开,你才不会讨厌人. 看开,你才不会没有修养. lol

我问:是不是当你看别人不爽的时候,同时间别人也会看你不爽

这是真的.

当对方笑笑的跟你打招呼了以后,你才肯放下防备的对他微笑

我说:我们都把墙建得太高了,也难怪,我们又不是第一次遇到有心计的人

怎么不防备呢?

一个人对你好,可以完全没有机心,也可以是处处想陷害你

看懂了,你才认清什么所谓知心朋友

他出卖过你,不管多久以后,他都有可能再出卖你.

不要当笨蛋,就记得提醒自己你也没有很聪明.

越是以为自己聪明的人,其实才是最笨的.

asignment,我真的不想你把我搞垮

虽然我真的很懒惰,很没有心情,很没有毅力的想要去动你

但,为了不让你把我ko

在你ko我之前,我一定先要把你给ko掉.

asignment

oh ya, i finally finished research method asignment at this moment.

wuhoo~~

i had really put a lots of effort on this assignment, ya..im serious!

fren asked me: lol, first time see you do assignment like tat, nid so serious bo?

abo then? i jz HATE the result i get in the 1st n 2nd sem,so i'd promise myself,

wont let it happen anymore.

finished the 1st assignment in the semester, coming with more assignment. lol

CIM asignment is the next, follow by CFM and also 3 final paper.

after that, i've 3 months holiday..

i dislike holiday, i love to see my baby everyday. hearts.

what i'll do in the holiday? where i'll be in the holiday?

mayb, i'll not in bw for quite a long time. why? it's a secret.

yet, i don't think i'll make it successful, since dad n mum mayb will not allow me to do so. lol

anyway, will find a part time job on DEC. i need MONEY badly.

oh..well well well...

i know its look......not that good....yet i should accept it.

lols...today is the first day i see it, finally i know how it looks like after 1 month.

mum keep telling me, it's ok girl....nothing to sad.

but, i do really mind it, care it, and sad bout it.

do not know how to express that feeling, i trying to ignore it, although i know it's hard to make it.

anyway, i should accept it, as one part of my body.

i'll love you, my dear.

Assignment~!! do not ever try to give up on me, as i'll love you and done you in a very right way..

who knows?

无意间,我从一个网站中,看到一句让我印象很深刻的话

'要成長 你要讓你的現在和未來跟你的過去截然不同。你的過去不是你的命運'

说的太对了

人往往之所以失败,之所以太执着放不开,那是因为我们不舍得

不舍得把以前留在过去,却偏偏爱让过去的回忆很霸道的在我们每天的生活当中游走

认为美好的就应该留下来,认为值得的就应该珍惜

谁又知道, 你个人认为的美好和值得

在别人的眼中,有多么的渺小.

不应该太执迷不悟了,我们都不小了.

趁着做assignment的空档,我跟朋友讨论了一个'过去式'

原来我在意的不是现在如何,而是为什么以前可以的,现在都变得不可能

越想忘记那种痛,却偏偏牢牢记在脑海里

记得,那天下午,看到某个句子后,我的心情低落了好多

我认真的把他当朋友,却偏偏,我做错了那么多.

记得,那天晚上,接到某个电话,我的心情矛盾了一阵子

我认真的看待整件事情的来龙去脉,却偏偏,我什么努力都做完了以后,才发现自己如此的狼狈

对于友情,我从不隐瞒自己的在乎

对于爱情,我从不违背自己的原则

每一天,带着恨,讨厌,生气的心情对着你,我好累

选择原谅,不是因为我真的释怀了,而是我不想让我们都那么累

以后就算各走各的,至少我清楚的知道,我不带走任何了伤害和难过

这些年,因为学习到八面玲珑,而用宽容来欺骗自己的委屈

我想说的是, 我没有多余的力量去不喜欢一个人

我爱,我身边的每一位朋友,家人

我喜欢,我每天都可以拥有开心的生活

一开始,百分百的信任和付出

我只哀求别那么残忍的对待我所给予的信任

那会诋毁了我的自尊,和尊严.

回不去的过往,我不会再惦记着它

不否定它的存在,但会尽量忽视它

一些隐藏在心里面的伤口,还是留给时间帮我慢慢痊愈

不管现在还有多少我在意的话语,我相信,有一天,那都会过去的.

回归最初的感动,至少我们曾经拥有过.

大了,必须懂得世界上,所有的事情都不可能百分百的完美

也不能如你所愿的发生

如果,上天真的只允许你拥有那么多,也只允许你拥有过却还把它收回

为什么,不尝试珍惜你有的,哪怕就只是那么少

为什么,不努力的争取想要的,哪怕有多么的遥远

埋怨,生气,愤怒,甚至怀恨

都不可能让自己开心

这,我绝对懂得.

放过自己吧.

我放过我自己了,你们呢?

mood-y

Seriously,i got no mood to do assignment now.

how and why it will happen? i knew clearly.

no one can understand the feeling as me.

trying hard to not allow the tears to flow,trying harder to persuade myself it will be okay, forcing myself not to think about it anymore.

BUT, my heart is broken. seriously pain right now. AND i am so lost.

can someone tell me, what and how i should do?

tot time can heal, tot i can face it, tot i am tough enough to bear it

YET, i am lost at this moment.

until the moment coming, i just ask myself try to escape from it.

WHY? why? why?

1000 and 1000 questions in my heart, 1000 and 1000 answer i am waiting for

but until now, what is the point to ask for?

alots of expectation i had before, alots of promises i heard before

AND now, alots of disappointment i get finally.

how cruel it is? and the most funny is i cannot blame anyone.

WHY still giving others a chance to hurt you when you know how painful the hurt is?

WHY still put hope on others when you know how sad to get disappointment?

WHY still pretend you are ok when you understand you are actually not ok at all?

this moment, how i wish i can slap myself for the mistake.

i should not, i should not did so much!

BE honest, this is not an excuse, of course i know.

after i read those text, i understand there is no other solution.

i have to get through this.

i need a lots of courage to walk away, and to forget it.

i have been lugging for months and i realize today,

that people does not meant to argue with you sometimes, it is just we both do not know how to communicate.

WHY,

people need to care about me?

WHY,

people have to concern about me?and

WHY,

people have to ask for your opinion

To put it bluntly, i just care too much until i cannot undertake it.

-TAKE a DEEP breath.

i will know the way that i should go after this.

always believe in myself.

november

hallo nov, finally you are here. :)

Nov, definitely a busy month for me. lots of asignment i nid to complete, 2 case study and another one research asignment. yet i haven start either one.

gonna to die 99 this time.

TAKE a breath. Nothing is imposible.

better to start my work this week! no more entertainment,no more lazy life,

just WORK hard for asignment.

after finish 3 asignment, final exam is the next. lol

marketing student only taking one final exam which hold 20% but

ME, as a IBM student, have to take another finance paper which 100%. die 99 agn.

sumore i have to take moral paper which i had skip when y2sem1.

god...can you expand 24hours per day to 48hours?

i'm scare i have no enuf time.

angel asked me: i dont know why u stress for..?nothing to scare la phing.

i hope so.

keep reminding myself: Phing arr....last mins make perfect. as you always do.lol....

estella, i know you can and please prove it to me!!!

no matter how hard it is, you gonna tell yourself that you can get through it.

it is already PAST, you should know you cannot give anyone a chance to hurt you for twice.

no one can feeling the pain as you, especially those never care about how you feel when you need support, so. think about it.

TIME　CAN　HEAL.

Hallo-ween

wondering is it great to party tonight..?

seem everyone have their own party/funtion tonight

and

how about me?

NO party for me tonight! spend my time to my tv-drama at home?

my god. i wanna to get some alcohol BUT no club, okie?

lolx

by the way, still thinking where can i go tonight.

rest at home is the better choice for me.

leg ar leg, are you allow me to party tonight?

just for tonight? ok?

i beg you, my dear leg.

well, non of my business anymore!

yes..i am agree with what friend told me yesterday.

i wont HATE you yet i wont FORGIVE u.

look forward. you have your life and i have mine,

of cox mine one will definitely better than yours. =D

non to let it go or either let it be

i choose the last one.

明白

真相

是怎样的..?有人真的懂吗?

谁又可以告诉我,他知道的是完全正确的?

或许故事的最后,大家才懂得

很多事情都没有单方面的错或对.

也没有什么人,需要为任何事情付100%的责任

硬币也有公花2面,为什么那么绝对的认为只有一个是错的?

其实,自己很了解自己的性格

说穿了,骗不了自己的还是心里最深处的感受

我没有绝对的理智,我也有冲动的时候

所以,我试着把问题摊出来说

讨论了一番以后,我发现,其实自己真的还是有点难以释怀

狮子座的性格,什么事情都非要问清楚,讲明白,讨个公平点

但,谁又愿意配配合我,给我一个公正的天枰呢

就算给你知道了,就算让你明白了

这一些事情你回得到过去吗?

这一刻,我深深明白,我根本不可能让自己这么轻易的妥协

对于这部分,我承认我有点执着

毕竟什么都不知道,什么都没有被交代清楚

留下一个个大大的问号,留下一堆说过但又没有做过的事情

我承认,我无法原谅这一切.

时间绝对可以帮助一个人,把伤口医好

但,伤口痊愈了以后,留下的,依然是很深刻的疤痕

打个比喻,像我右脚的那道疤痕,多久以后它还是会深深的留下来

这一辈子都会跟着我,像是在提醒着我

这是一个教训,这是一个永远都无法抹去的伤痕

你有多努力的想要忘记它,你就有多深的刺留在心里

尝试不要记得它.

慢慢的它会被遗忘.

就像自己,慢慢的也会变得毫无价值可言.

以前,很执着自己的重要性,很在乎自己的价值

但或许,那么多次以后,

我已经明白,自己的价值和重要性是自己给予自己的

而不要去奢求别人给你任何,一丝一毫的存在感.

昨晚,好疯狂的过了一个晚上,我很爱这样的跟他们在一起

you all make my day perfectly.

星期天

发现自己越来越宅了

没事都不出门

连出门都觉得好懒惰.

开刀到现在,我就只放肆了那么的2次

就是在拆了线之后的那2天. 过分~!!

医生说不可以走那么多,伤口还没愈合

我就开始想要跑了. lolx

第一个晚上,有种:" 啊~我终于放生啦~~~~." 的感觉.

去看了一场电影. 童眼3D.

为什么我那么看得起自己?我是一个极度害怕看鬼片的人.

但,可能是贪新鲜,还是被报告刺激到

我在拿了报告的那一个晚上,就去看了这部戏.

3D效果是吓人的..我承认,我胆小

第二个晚上

本来,好好的计划要过pg找同学'喝茶'

突然很兴致的想drinking...

我没很emo,但是喝酒的确可以让人放得开一点点.

但,最后因为这个没空,那个生病,其他隔天要早起爬山,种种原因

我们取消了.

看得出,有点失望的感觉.没关系,下星期再去.

原本以为就在参加朋友的毕业典礼之后就乖乖回家宅了啦.

结果,我回到家不到2个小时,我又溜出来了.

妈妈: 你的脚一跛一跛的,你还出去?!

妈咪,难得朋友从pg过来找我嘛......

结果上了车,我还是去了喝东西

autocity~~~~好久没去了.

在那边还遇到了他. 好久不见的朋友.

"老板"好多事情在烦,我很不客气的表达我的意见.

爱情没有对和错,如果你决定了,我们还是一样会支持你

这条是条漫长的路,也是一条充满未知数的路

如果有足够的恒心,就加油吧

但,如果真的连自己的信心都开始动摇

就该认真的想想了.

你还有大把时间可以重新再选择

但,对方未必有能力的一直等下去.

星期天,我又很宅了.

生病了..喉咙很痛,不想讲话.

整天脸好臭..arrghhhh......我又怎么了?????

知道

有时候,知道太多反而不会是一件好事

还在质疑自己到底对了吗?这样的方式好吗?

拒绝了帮忙,显得我好计较

答应了帮忙,却害怕到头来只是烂好人一个.

跟一个人讨论了好久,最终我做了选择.

每个人都需要肩膀

我的或许并不强壮到可以很安全的让你靠,但我随时准备好.

因为我知道,当我需要人陪的时候,一个肩膀就足够了.

有时候,人家不想让你知道一定有他的原因

你可以不接受,但记得什么时候都要学习如何去尊重他人.

但,不想让你知道后又无意间的被你知道了

这种感觉,正是我现在的感受.

掩饰,显得你如此狼狈

不公开,隐瞒一切,显得你如此胆小怕事.

还好,我在这一刻认识你了.

以为我很生气是对的,但是却被某人说:你应该计较的是以前的那些事情拼凑出来的现在

但如果只为了那一通电话,未免也有点说不过去.

我想,我还是有不理智的时候,

但还好在我很冲动的时候,身边会有比我更理智的人提醒着我.

我自认我尊重了你,但当我觉得我不被尊重的时候

我就不会再作出任何让步的举动.

我讨厌自以为是的人

我讨厌那么不堪一击的我

我讨厌那个害怕面对事实的我

不想再做被自己讨厌的我.

take a deep breath and ask myself to let it go.

let bygone be bygone.

you have no value to make me down.

I'm Back~!

正式的

向颓废的生活道别了

byebye 啦,我家客厅的沙发

霸占了它一个多星期,终于勇敢的踏出第一步爬楼梯了

byebye 啦,客厅的电视机

每一天对着它,除了睡觉24小时不间断的没离开过它的视线

终于,休息了一个多星期

告别了只有吃和睡的生活

i am back~!!

第一天,可以回到college,感觉只有一个字可以形容:爽啊~!!

虽然,心里对于驾车这回事有点抗拒,毕竟我的脚还没办法完全掌握那个力度

说起来也觉得讽刺,又不是第一次驾车,但心里却战战兢兢的.

妈妈说载我去学院,我还是拒绝了

想要靠自己,学习更独立~!!

接下来,好多asignment要做

我想,这是件好事.

现在,对于我而言,没有什么会比可以去上课来得更开心了

至少觉得自己还有那么一丁点用处

忙完Asignment就是离开penang的时间了

还有一个多月而已,好快~期待-ing

在我还没开始找工作前,让我再留多那么一点点时间在这里,好吗?

我想,收集更多的回忆.

拜托,11月,过得比较慢一点,好吗?

休息了一个多星期

其实,我应该感恩我有这个机会. 虽然说,生病的确不是一件好骄傲的事

但,或许没有这一次的跌倒,我反而学不会怎么爬起来.

一个多月来,身体不断搞抗议,从胃到脚

到它终于选择罢工的时候,我才学会爱自己才是最重要的.

这一个多星期以来,脑袋瓜放空了好久好久

我想了好多好多好多事情

好的,坏的,酸甜苦辣一一想过一篇

原来,脑袋瓜也会搞抗议的,一直不断灌输悲伤的想法给它

它又怎么可以让你开心呢

这一次,我把它彻底放空,让它好好的休息一下,终于我得到了更好的.

我知道,这一次我真的长大了.

我喜欢我现在的思想,它教会我,每一件事情都会有2面的看法

问题在于你怎么去解决.

不要抱怨让你伤心的结果,感恩那让你学习的过程

你骗不了自己的是,过程中你的确得到过,享受过,拥有过,珍惜过

敢说,过程中的苦比甜多吗?

埋怨不会让你变得更坚强,接受才是对自己最好的释放和解脱

每一件事情的结束,就代表着另一件事情已经开始

与其把自己活埋在过去式,为什么不享受已经慢慢萌芽的现在式

佩岑的那一段话,我感同身受

相信,未来那一段名言,也会是促使我不断向前的座右铭.

最开心的莫过于我得到了认同

那一句: phing你真的长大了,真的这一次,你会想多了.

wow~天知道我听到这一句话的时候,开心到整晚都睡不着.

知足,常乐

okie,我不是在炫耀些什么

我只是很乐于的分享我的故事

我把它当作是一个课程

学费我付了,成绩单也不差吧

睡了,我要养足精神,明天去上课.

college, i'm back~!

classmate, i'm back~!

say welcome back to me, please...

TOUGH

i know,

sometimes it's okay to be weak,

it's okay to cry if you really fed up or maybe feel tired with something

but luckily this time, i did not cry.

i know,

i cannot just simply forgive everything without an apologize

but what if,

when people say sorry to me..?? should i still angry?

but, this will never happen.

i guess, i just can't do anything on it anymore.

im the 1st person who admit the wrong and apologize

sorry, i can't forget what u had said and what you had did

sorry, i admit i can't be a perfect person

so, once i choose to end this war, meant i choose to end everything.

maybe, i should be thankful, at least i know i had put alots of effort that i never thought i will

it is so hard to forgot the pain and how hurt it is

but, luckily at the moment,

i realize how much my family love me and the friends that stand besides me to give me support

u given me a chance to learn, to fall down and to grow up again, with more stronger.

i knew the problem since a very long time

i force myself to keep going although it is hard to pass through

being the 1st person to make decision is cruel, as i dun wish it to happen

no doubt, keep silent is really not a good way to settle the problem

especially when it comes with love.

i endup make a choice.

the pain that i am experiencing right now is actually helping me to grow up

from a little girl, to be a woman.

a way that i have to go through although i know how hard it is.

but, it really make me feel valuable after i go through all the things and i re-born again

when i started to blog this post

i started to asking myself

am i going to make another choice..? will i still put any hope..?

am i able to put it down? or can i just forgive everything?

blablabla...lots of question i have to answer myself

i dun ever know how to answer.

maybe, only time can helps.

i am giving up,

i choose a new way to life

what i want right now is just a simple and healthy life.

i know my body got lots of problem now

and also, it have to take time to recover too.

2moro is the judgement day.

promise, no matter this is good or bad,

i will go through.

as, i dun wish my parents to worry about me anymore

as, i still have alots of things and dreams that i haven reach

what if i don't have the chance to make it true?

choi~!! touch wood..

life my life

love my life

and

a new estella will born soon.

girl, please be tough.

say thank to those people who push me down

because you are giving me a chance to get up.

蔡依林(Jolin Tsai) - 小傷口(Real Hurt) MV V台首播版

脚,还是一拐一拐

出院后的今天

我的生活

就是吃,睡,躺

连走都辛苦.

有什么神药可以让我快快好起来吗..??

我想喊救命了..

T.T

歌词中,仿佛看到了自己

在这样的情景下

我更感触良多

所有的一切,不适合用后悔来形容

只能说,我学习到,我领悟到

这是一个无法抹去的记忆

也是一道无法愈合的伤口

对不起,我学不会原谅.

我可以健康一点吗

回到家,感觉很舒服

还是自己的家最最最好了

回到家第一件事就是-好好的洗个头,冲个凉

感觉很舒服.

脚伤,不会很痛啦

我只是不大敢去碰它

原本以为伤口的针是内缝的

不用再拆线的

医生又骗我了

伤口是外缝的

2个星期后还是必须拆线.

至于那块东西,我可以暂时不要理,不要想吗?

就像医生说, 不要想得那么悲先..

我虽然很怕

但恶性还是良性,我都控制不了.

开刀,很可怕

第一次,那种电视情节赤裸裸出现在我的面前

我很清楚的听见仪器..ti..ti..ti....的声音

麻醉师在我脊椎骨打了针,

下半身,突然没有了任何知觉

尝试叫我的脚动一动,但我的双脚真的完全不听使唤

直到医生进来,直到所有护士人员在我面前走来走去

把我的上半身和下半身用一块布隔开着

我什么都看不到

鼻子还插着氧气管

我很想把这一些情景,

在我还没有被全身麻醉之前,在我还有知觉的时候

统统写下来

但,我这才发现

原来,这一些都不是言语能够表达出来的

只知道,很恐惧

4个小时后,我清醒了

脚,依旧麻麻的

直到今天早上

医生那番话

我可以不担心吗?

很难吧.

我只想要健康一点

就这么简单

而现在唯一我能做的,就只有:等.

清醒了

手术过后的我更清醒了

这一个月里,我感触很深

尤其进了2次医院

看到家人对自己的照顾

或许我失去了很多

但我得到了家人给予我

最大的支持.

我知道

在我最需要支持和鼓励的当下

唯有家人才是永远的依赖

这一次,我真的醒了.

爸爸妈妈,我爱你们

永远永远的爱你们.

我是药包。

请叫我药包..

昨天才跟妈妈说,我现在吃的药比我吃的饭还多...

我知道,距离不用再每天吃药的那一天,我还是很遥远

不懂什么时候可以真正的摆脱这一些药

我会加油.

生病的这段日子,我仿佛看清了好多事情

身边的那些朋友和家人,真的,令我很感动之余,也让我觉得很好笑

记得拿报告的那一天, angel在班上大喊的那一句: 坚强!

真的让我很哭笑不得

那一天的早上,我们一起吃早餐,我还开玩笑的说,这可能是我的最后一餐

lol....不好意思,你们withdrawm环游世界的计划泡汤了..

我并不坚强,我不伪装我的害怕

谁懂,等待被推进去手术室的那一杀那

整间房间就只看到护士和白白的墙壁,那一种感觉

你体会到吗?

看着医生往自己的手打了那一支麻醉药,看着自己慢慢没有了意识

醒来的时候,躺在床上,护士走进来

没说什么,又再被推进去

又再被麻醉又再没了意识

这一些过程,我一个人度过

中间几度醒了又晕过去,晕了又醒来

我最后的意识就是那一通电话

真的,住院那一天

我才真的感受到

朋友,在我身边,支持着我,陪着我的,是有多么感动

妈妈爸爸因为真的很忙,我能体谅

所以,我不敢,也不想要他们去看我

那一杀那,唯有你,可以那样的为我

第一天的晚餐,我吃到了很久以前你带我去,那一间很好吃的鱼粥

第二天,手术之后,我很惊讶的吃到了,你亲自煮的粥..很吓到,很好吃

而同学们的信息,还有一封来自很远很远的信息

我反复的看,反复的感动

我吵说我很饿,出现的就有粥

我吵说我想喝一点甜的饮料,出现的就有果汁

我吵说我要吃donuts,出现的就有big apple

我吵说我要喝hot drinks,出现的就有starbucks hot chocolate

谁说,住院很可怜

我说,住院很享受..哈哈.....touch wood touch wood...

至于有些人,我埋怨,我生气,我失望,种种掺杂在一起的感受

这一辈子,没人懂.

我很感恩,我有朋友,有家人

很喜欢现在的生活

上课,下课了找节目,回家了陪家人,累了晚上就不熬夜

我很特意的让自己很忙很忙

忙到一点时间都不允许自己再胡思乱想

对我而言,种种的不明白,太多的不公平

我选择了沉默以对

从我选择写了那一封很长很长的信之后

我就已经选择了不保留做最后一次的拼搏

虽然,结果真的令我很失望

但,也因为这一次的失望

我知道,再多的眼泪我都不能够换来我想要的快乐

也就,这样吧.

觉得自己变了,变得很随便

我所谓的随便是,

生活一样过得精彩

但,对于太多的人,事,物

我的反应竟然可以那么冷淡

冷笑一句后,我还是我.

我只能说

现在的我,很快乐

我不用因为每天早上要等电话,而让自己无法好好入睡

这种心情,一些人,从来都没有用心的谅解过

我站在我立场,我想了又想

为自己,为别人,我想了很多

站在天枰上,得不到所谓的平衡感

我站在别人的立场,想了又想

或许,与其一直不断的问为什么,拼命的想回到过去

不如,我歇一歇

与其,抱着责怪的心态去面对

不如,我学习感恩

我学习了很多,体会了很多,再看开了更多

或许我真的可以不恨了.

时限快到了,机会快没了

但,我的确看不到任何的努力.

周末的下午

懒洋洋的睡到2点

慢吞吞的把房间整理整理

现在,我要去享受我的 '公主嫁到' 了.

这样的周末,我不闷.

please, be a gentleman

**原谅我英文参杂华文的在打部落...突然喜欢这样的写法

again, i spent whole day with them again ♥

we all started to getting close this sem and of cox after prom night

what a nice thing~we are actually best friends and also good classmate.

cherhoong skip Ian class this morning again

his excuse: i really duno wats wrong, i don't know why i can close my alarm without any feeling..zzz...maybe he jz really tired bcz of lack of sleeping time dis few days

okay, we forgive you, Ian wil forgive you too, i guess...lol

BUT, he is a very nice guy

although he did not cm to class but he still wakup and fetch us go to lunch after class.

guess where we go for the 3 hours breaks..??

we went back to b'w and had our lunch, and go back to college agn at 2pm!

LOL...cherhoong's idea..

where we will go for nex tues..?? maybe jawi....wahaha

anyway, it is really fun when i stick with them and talk non stop.

Paul class was ended at 3pm....only 1 hour he spent for us although it should be 2 n half hour class...

haha...Paul started to gv up d.

im planing to go to gurney and buy a converse shoes since i had decide to have one for trip...

angeline, fion and cherhoong decided to go with me....im so touch*

i endup choose one for myself and wil get it within this week

hoho...i love it~!

we went to secret recipe after this...nothing special but we just love the time when we are together...too bad jiahern cnt join us...T.T

talk alots, and we sud bcm DEVIL bcz of some matter,

anyway, we dont want to see you get hurt...

女人啊, 总是那么的心软

总是在很生气,很受伤之后

又很轻易的选择原谅

女人啊,总是那么天真的以为

只要真心付出,总有一天,我们是可以看到改变的

可是,你真的相信

时间和耐心,真的可以让一个男生变得成熟吗

我想,等到他们开始后悔,开始懂得什么是珍惜的时候

我们,都已经累了,都已经选择离开了.

他们改了所有的坏习惯,他们变得成熟,变得有责任心也好

都是下一个女朋友的幸福了.

2年了

你不断用耐心和毅力在教导他,在告诉他,在让他明白

2年多以来,他....有改变吗?

如果有心,他一定会为了你付出..就算你什么都不曾开口向他要求

但,就连一个晚餐,一个做工时间,一件你想要他为你做的事情

都必须要开口才可以得到

有时候,过分到甚至要求一些是绅士都不会这样做的事情

他爱你,是这样的方式吗?

你,不累吗?

放过自己吧..

爱情,不是说要改变对方来配合自己

而是要互相包容和体谅

一方面不断的付出,一方面不断的伤害

到最后,这样的爱情,你看到结果吗?

他的所作所为,真的,一点绅士风度都没有

他认为,你付出,你做这一切,都是理所当然的

但,问问他自己,做过了什么?

我知道,开口说分手,真的不容易

但是,继续这样的关系

看不到未来的同时,他也一直不断在伤害着你

我们都是过来人,我们很懂这种感受

付出的,在男生的眼里,看来一点都不算什么

一时的感动,就可以有很多的甜言蜜语

但,激情过后,剩下的,只有那些不断谋杀着你的回忆

你放不下,但又不想继续下去

这种辛苦,他...有体会过吗?有珍惜过你吗?有用心的心疼过你的眼泪吗?

你可以找到一个更好的,相信自己

就算是一个人,哪又怎样

还是一样可以有朋友,一样可以过得很开心.

我们,在你身边

不要害怕.

爱情,在现实生活中还是应该保留一点的浪漫

但,绝对不是让自己活在幻想的世界里

我们都大了,不适合在爱情里玩这种累人的游戏了

you deserve the better!

trust me!

we are always beside you and give you fully support!

Disted Prom Night

angel,hern,me and fion

Phing+Hoong

hern+fion+yeansin+phing

i love this photo

thanks camera man.

pretty classmate!

group photo

9-25-2010

A day that to remember ~

dad's bday and prom night

had a deal with mummy,so that i can celebrate dad's bday on friday and go to prom on sat...mwahhss...

disted college prom night

在这之前,一直不断讨论,要怎么打扮啊,要穿先什么衣啊,化什么桩啊

结果,一下下,这就过去了

但,真的,很值得回味,也很值得把这回忆留下来

说实话,食物真的还好

而且我们女生都穿着高跟鞋

要走来走去拿食物,真的是一件极度,非常辛苦的事情

还好,我们有绅士在场,帮我们把这些问题都解决掉

节目,还不错...尤其最后,b-box的演出,一个字:赞!

胜是胜在,我们同学一大班

说笑,玩乐

prom结束后,就直接下voodoo

说真的,我没有很喜欢那里,而且脚是真的不是开玩笑的痛

但是,一班同学一起去玩,什么地点真的不重要

最重要的是,我们都尽兴啦

我想,回到班上上课之后

我们都没有办法再看到voodoo里面的同学

疯狂的样子了吧

所以说,机会很难得..还好有把握

我们都很enjoy在当晚.

回到hern家,都3点多了

今晚不回家~~~我,angel和hern睡在一起...hoho^^

很累了,但我们还真的不怎么愿意睡觉

反而说了好多好多好多话.....

gal talks到早上5点多吧....

谢谢你们,谢谢你们让我过了一个很开心的晚上

appreciate it, and keep it as a nice memories...

i love you guys and i love the time we spent together.

last photo b4 i step into island hospital.

seriously, i am so nervous.

bt i did not show it to my family

my mum n dad look so steady

and they jz asked me to go by own, after checking 2moro then drive back

my mum sumore said: this is not ur 1st time to scanning la..wey

lol...bt it is really ok~

i have to face it also.

the thing tat make me feel more comfortable is: i keep telling myself, tat wil be alright.

byebye laa....wil be back 2 days after. god bless.